Archive for July, 2009

An open letter to Bounty Killer

The following is an open letter to Bounty Killer.

Dear Bounty Killer,

I hope this letter finds you in the angriest of moods.

I have been reading about your recent travails i.e. your brushes with the law and I must admit I am extremely disappointed. You may remember that in my last blog I spoke of how I like Beenie Man. But my admiration of him in a purely platonic way did not stop me from pointing out his flaws.

Bounty Killer, I like you in pretty much the same manner. After all, I grew up listening to music from both of you and I think you, Bounty, have some songs that are timeless. If you and other readers of this letter disbelieve me, listen to the lyrics of Look, Anytime and Cyaan Believe Mi Eyes and you will see that they are still relevant a decade later and will be long after you have left the earth.

Anyway, enough of the adulation, time for the chastisement.

Bounty Killer, you like your nemesis Beenie Man have the opportunity to become icons and legends in dancehall history. You, like your nemesis should be elder statesmen in dancehall. You should be producing younger artistes who will take dancehall to the top of BillBoard, the BBC Top 40 and the Canadian charts regularly. I’m not talking about exposing young artistes, allowing them to produce substandard work, then becoming involved in petty squabbles, which hold both them and the music back.

What I’m talking about is putting a young artiste in the international limelight and keeping him or her there by using your experience and knowledge. After all, you have had some international success and you have boasted about giving the world Elephant Man (and Scare Dem), Vybz Kartel as well as Mavado. So, why not use that to your advantage in the form of a studio and management company? Also, why not use this experience to lobby for dancehall to be given the respect it deserves as a legitimate art form, which reflects the voice of the people instead of the noise that some people perceive it to be?

Instead, Bounty Killer you have been finding yourself before the courts too regularly for my liking. I have never looked up to you as a role model neither have I ever looked up to Beenie Man or any other dancehall act for that matter. You see I don’t idolise people. But, I’m sure people look up to you as a role model. I don’t know if you see yourself as a role model but your visits to her majesty’s courts is not something I would imagine you would not want youngsters to follow.

While I’m on the subject of youngsters, why can’t you get your sons Vybz Kartel the seemingly talented but wayward writer who left your household three years ago and your equally gifted singjay Mavado to stop going at each other’s throats. Aren’t you afraid that they may literally cause harm to each other. Why can’t you as the father intervene? Why not let them come together, sit down combine their talents and produce a memorable GLOBAL HIT – not a local one, or one that’s going to just peak at 65 on Billboard Hot 100 and then be forgotten. Instead get them to do one which will be as catchy and popular as Shaggy’s ‘It Wasn’t Me’.

So Bounty, please, I beg of you, can we at least see a new cross, angry miserable man using his bad attitude to take dancehall to the top? Please?

Thank you for reading my letter.

Yours truly,

Idi Amin

PS: Hey you could even appear in the video of the global hit song done by Vybz Kartel and Mavado. But then it wouldn’t be your first time!

Be more responsible Beenie Man

I really like Beenie Man in a purely platonic way. I really do. His ability to get in trouble and come out unscathed is unparalleled and not to mention the fact that he has managed to appoint himself ‘King of the dancehall’ and get everyone else agreeing is indeed a commendable quality, which deserves mention.

I really like Beenie Man. Which other public figure can refer to his wife as ‘it’ when he said ‘mi a breed it’ and not anger the various women’s groups in this country? Isn’t that a commendable quality? I mean Beenie Man some how always manages to come out of any bad situation looking like the angel no matter what. Now, just when I was beginning to forget about him he pops up again this time declaring himself ‘Emperor of the Gaza’ and telling the world about his wealth.

Again, that’s why I like him because he has a knack of staying in the public eye although he doesn’t need to and he still acts like the 25-year-old who thrilled the world with Who Am I in the 1990s.

Think about it, why does Beenie Man need to get involved in a feud between Mavado and Vybz Kartel? If you are the King of the Dancehall, why not squash the dispute with a decree. Isn’t that what a king is supposed to do. That’s why I’m fond of him. It appears to me that he just doesn’t know how to pick his fights and he is never tired of entering a tiff. That is a commendable quality because most other artistes of his generation have long moved on from fussing and jumping on feuding wagons. Even his nemesis Bounty Killer seems to have moved on. But, Beenie Man being the good king and warrior has taken on a new battle. He has declared his support for Vybz Kartel and at the same time declaring himself head of an enterprise which was not of his creation.

But that is Beenie Man and that’s why I really like him. His never say die attitude and his refusal to fade away into retirement and legendary status has the ability to grate on one’s nerves. But, he still continues.  

By the way Beenie, if you are emperor of the Gaza where does that leave Vybz Kartel? Surely you may soon have to put down a rebellion because two emperors cannot rule one country. Sooner or later one is going to want to usurp the other.  

 And, while I’m on Gaza why would one want to become ruler of one of the most inhospitable places on earth. Gaza is a place of 1.4 million people stuck in a six-mile space. If you don’t know what that means picture everybody living in Kingston, St Andrew, St Catherine (including Portmore), St James, Clarendon, St. Ann and St. Elizabeth living between Papine, Six Mile, Harbour View and Kingston Harbour and you will get the picture of what Beenie Man and Vybz Kartel wish to be associated with. Gaza is so bad it makes Riverton look like a suburb and Waterford like Beverley Hills.

I digress.

Beenie Man, I like you but it’s time you leave the youngsters to fight among themselves. I know you will say Ninja Man, Super Cat et. al did it with you and Bounty Killer. However, you say you are an international act and ‘King’ why not start behaving like royalty for a change. After all, aren’t you a grandfather and doesn’t that title carry some amount of respect and responsibility?  

By Idi Amin